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curiouswombatBeneath the cut is something my daughter e-mailed me from the company she is working at for the summer - one of those e-mails that go the rounds from one company to another, keeping the workforce amused. It is supposedly a mid-term exam answer.
The following is an actual question given on a Chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct.....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
It's a sign of growing up that she knew that this would amuse me, and that she felt she could share it with me!!
The following is an actual question given on a Chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct.....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
It's a sign of growing up that she knew that this would amuse me, and that she felt she could share it with me!!
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no subject
Date: 13/09/2006 08:43 pm (UTC)We're not allowed fun in my workplace. I often wish they'd trial a 'take your personality to work' day.
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Date: 13/09/2006 08:52 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 13/09/2006 09:19 pm (UTC)Yup, I've seen this one before, but it's still funny.
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Date: 13/09/2006 09:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 13/09/2006 09:25 pm (UTC)What does it do to his postulate if Teresa was faking it I wonder?
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Date: 13/09/2006 09:49 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 13/09/2006 11:11 pm (UTC)Holding with open hands?
The story itself reminds me of the class that I had when the professor assigned three ten point bonus questions to the final, had us take it the week before so he could tell us all that some jerk had not only aced the test but all three questions and screwed up the grading curve so that there was only one 'A'.
pgavigan
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Date: 14/09/2006 07:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 14/09/2006 12:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 13/09/2006 11:28 pm (UTC)Hadn't seen that one before.
(Love the icon, too...)
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Date: 14/09/2006 07:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 13/09/2006 11:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 14/09/2006 07:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 14/09/2006 07:50 am (UTC)By the way.
Date: 15/09/2006 08:22 am (UTC)Which is a concept that makes my eyes hurt.
pgavigan