It's going to be a Mum/Mom thing!
3 Aug 2006 11:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
curiouswombatI mentioned a couple of times that as there seem to be so many of us with off-spring about to head off to further education, or just leaving home, we should form a support group.
I realise that the Moms will need this soon - and I am happy to set up a community for us all to post in, worrying, whining, ranting, or whatever, with each other to help us cope.
But what should we call it?![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
missmurchison introduced me to the term 'helicopter mums' - the ones who fly into the college/uni and demand that tutors give their babies better marks, or more time to do essays; bring food parcels; do the washing; lecture their babies in public about things in general, then fly out again. She suggested in light of this maybe 'The Helipad' - where we stay grounded, rather than flying off everytime we panic. Our friend Kes suggested we could call ourselves Whirlybirds - as in helicopters again - I thought it also conjured up images of us spinning around dizzily in a flap as well - which seems pretty apt.
But has anyone else got any good ideas? I could try doing a poll - but wanted some more input really - should it be moderated, so that we can check that all the participants meet some membership criteria? If so should it be 'Moms Only', or Dads allowed, or open membership to the curious, what do you think? I think parents with teenagers who have already left home, or who are a couple of years short of leaving school, should be welcome if they want to join, is that reasonable?
I am inclined to members only posting, but usually open comments - so that if anyone else wants to give us advice, or a hug or whatever, they can do.
If you think such a community would be useful/fun let me know, and what you would want from it. And if there are more than two or three of us who want it, I'll set it up at the weekend - when my baby is off on a girls trip to Blackpool (meep!) - just to take my mind off what trouble she might be getting in!
I realise that the Moms will need this soon - and I am happy to set up a community for us all to post in, worrying, whining, ranting, or whatever, with each other to help us cope.
But what should we call it?
missmurchison introduced me to the term 'helicopter mums' - the ones who fly into the college/uni and demand that tutors give their babies better marks, or more time to do essays; bring food parcels; do the washing; lecture their babies in public about things in general, then fly out again. She suggested in light of this maybe 'The Helipad' - where we stay grounded, rather than flying off everytime we panic. Our friend Kes suggested we could call ourselves Whirlybirds - as in helicopters again - I thought it also conjured up images of us spinning around dizzily in a flap as well - which seems pretty apt.But has anyone else got any good ideas? I could try doing a poll - but wanted some more input really - should it be moderated, so that we can check that all the participants meet some membership criteria? If so should it be 'Moms Only', or Dads allowed, or open membership to the curious, what do you think? I think parents with teenagers who have already left home, or who are a couple of years short of leaving school, should be welcome if they want to join, is that reasonable?
I am inclined to members only posting, but usually open comments - so that if anyone else wants to give us advice, or a hug or whatever, they can do.
If you think such a community would be useful/fun let me know, and what you would want from it. And if there are more than two or three of us who want it, I'll set it up at the weekend - when my baby is off on a girls trip to Blackpool (meep!) - just to take my mind off what trouble she might be getting in!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 03/08/2006 10:42 pm (UTC)My mom referred to herself as the "yo-yo mom" during that period in my sister's and my life. Yo-yo because we kept franticlly flying away to school, etc but always rebounded home with the requisite dirty laundry..
no subject
Date: 04/08/2006 07:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 03/08/2006 11:24 pm (UTC)And re: helicopter moms - that's what we call the mom's who hover over their children and micromanage every little detail of their lives.
{{hugs again}}
no subject
Date: 04/08/2006 07:44 am (UTC)And re: helicopter moms - that's what we call the mom's who hover over their children and micromanage every little detail of their lives.
Yes - I think the idea of a helipad to stop us all doing that is really good.
no subject
Date: 03/08/2006 11:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 04/08/2006 07:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 04/08/2006 01:34 am (UTC)Today, I have ordered university texts for one of my progeny and given the other a driving lesson. I'm definitely feeling the anxiety!
no subject
Date: 04/08/2006 07:49 am (UTC)We are still in this lull before the storm - we can do nothing about specifics like text books until after 'The Results'.
no subject
Date: 04/08/2006 01:42 am (UTC)Frankly, now that I have returned to teaching full-time, I do NOT miss them. I found them to be overinvolved, intrusive, and generally an impediment to their adolescent children's evolution toward adulthood.
I had to keep reminding a small percentage of parents (about 15%) that although the student was their child, he/she was our adult. Also, here in the States, we have a law, FERPA, that prohibits colleges from providing all kinds of information to parents, despite the fact that parents may be footing the bills. What kind of info? Well, for a starter, wihtout the student's permission, we can't even tell the parent if the child is a registered student!! (It's all bound up in privacy laws.)
As the parent of an adult child who has earned two college degrees (a baccalaureate and a master's), I NEVER permitted myself the luxury of helicoptering. As a professor, I already knew FERPA law, and I dearly wanted my daughter to find herself and grow up - and I knew she had to make mistakes to do that. I stepped in once - ONCE - on a matter of her health and safety, AFTER she asked me to step in. (One of her roommates had stolen her bed - and other items - and the College'Housing Authority refused to do the required task of kicking out the thief.)
Good luck; it's not easy to hold back --- but 90% of the time, you have to...
no subject
Date: 04/08/2006 07:54 am (UTC)Fortunately, from my daughter's point of view maybe, I almost would have to helicopter in literally to get involved! Anyway it would involve a six hour trip by sea and road, or sea and rail - inclined to keep me earthbound but worrying, I think.
But we hope to be able to get worried together and not helicopter at all. Which should relieve both the offspring and their tutors, eh?
You will be very welcome to come over and make calming grown-up noises at us all.
no subject
Date: 05/08/2006 11:55 pm (UTC)Also, my knowledge is limited to the States, insofar as policies and procedures, practices, etc. , are concerned.
Feel free to ask, but I'll wait 'till you do, so I won't be an interferer. ::hugs::
no subject
Date: 04/08/2006 06:44 am (UTC)I always enjoy talking with moms about my kids, so count me in.
no subject
Date: 04/08/2006 07:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 04/08/2006 08:53 am (UTC)My mom has a tendency to try to treat me as if it was the year before I declared my independence.
It's only really rough around Christmas time as mom likes to give clothing for presents.
Where she keeps finding those bell bottom pants is any body's guess.
pgavigan
no subject
Date: 04/08/2006 11:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 04/08/2006 11:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 04/08/2006 11:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 04/08/2006 03:51 pm (UTC)My daughter is eleven years out of college. She went to college in NYC, a mere 10 miles away from where I live, in Greenwich Village. I had wanted her to go somewhere else for college, rather than staying in a city that she knew so well. However, she had a boyfriend who was also attending college in NYC, so she did not want to leave. The boyfriend was a serious commitment, since she married him.
I was lucky in that I saw her almost every weekend, because we still continued to go out to NJ to visit our horse every weekend. (I knew that horse was a great idea. He was a great mother/daughter project.)
no subject
Date: 04/08/2006 07:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 04/08/2006 11:46 pm (UTC)Actually, I don't believe I've met any other dads on LJ, and precious few men at all (not that there's anything wrong with that), so it might be best if I just shut up. :-) But for the record, I like "Heliport".
no subject
Date: 05/08/2006 09:52 am (UTC)There are a few Dads around, the one I know best is, of course,
Amongst my friends
And it looks as if we will be Whirlybirds who meet at The Helipad.
no subject
Date: 05/08/2006 06:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 05/08/2006 07:16 pm (UTC)Course there might be something he hasn't told me... :~D
no subject
Date: 05/08/2006 11:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 05/08/2006 11:30 pm (UTC)I know the feeling! I believe there are a finite number of names that we can remember, and once the database is full we can only take in a new one by forgetting one we knew already!
no subject
Date: 07/08/2006 05:39 pm (UTC)I hate those people.
no subject
Date: 08/08/2006 07:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 08/08/2006 07:43 pm (UTC)