New layout, and a few funny things from our hols., and a sad thing.

[curiouswombat]

I've gone rather pink - or at least my journal has. I'm not sure it will stay like this for long, but I felt the need for something springlike and cheerful. The background picture is of the sweetpeas I grew in a tub last year.

No pictures in this post, but a couple of other things that amused us on our London break.



In Selfridges we saw a muslim lady in complete black from head to toe, including a solid black yashmak, in the make-up department encouraging her daughter, who looked about 18 and was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, to have a complete make-up makeover. For some reason this struck both my daughter and I as funny.

At the Tower of London they were selling toy lances, about 3 feet (a metre) long - we were approached by a father pushing his toddler in a buggy, the little boy wielding the lance fairly correctly from within the buggy. D-d looked at me, then said 'Baby-cart goes medieval!'. You have to have seen a certain set of kung-fu type films to 'get' this one!

When she was 13 D-d could easily go to films for over 15s - no-one queried how old she was. Now that she is 18 she is regularly asked to prove that she is over 16, or occasionally over 18. To prevent any problems she took her student ID, and her passport with her. Mainly in case there was any problem getting into either of the gigs she was attending with friends. She was only actually asked for her ID on one occasion - when she tried to buy mugs of hot chocolate whilst they queued for the Placebo gig at Alexander Palace!



Many of you will have seen my husband's post about the rather sudden death of his aunt. Sadly he hadn't seen her since D-d was about six months old. He doesn't like travelling any more, and the family feud meant that he had an excuse to never go to Cumbria to see her, but I don't think it ever occured to him that if he didn't go he wouldn't see her again.

The only consolation that we have, I think, is that when S2C's mother and his aunt fell out, over their own mother's death, we kept in touch with his aunt to an extent as I kept her on my Christmas card list. So when M-i-L made efforts to get back in touch, and Aunt E.'s husband, suffering from Alzheimers or similar, threw the letter with M-i-L's new address in it into the fire, Aunt E. found that she at least had our address, and when she asked us I was able to make sure each of them had each other's correct address. After some letters backwards and forwards M-i-L spent time on her trip to Britain last year with her sister, so they were close to each other again before E.'s sudden illness.

It is so sad that it happened now, although there is not usually any good time for a sudden death, but M-i-L is coming back to Britain again in a couple of weeks time - and this trip was particularly so that Aunt E. and M-i-L could go back to the places they remembered from their childhood together - a journey now never to be made.

The moral, I think, is don't let family feuds go on and on - and keep in touch with people that you value - don't just expect them to always be there. This can be hard - it is so easy to do other things rather than taking time to visit, or ring, or write - but better to find that time now, than to regret that you never did. I tink I might take some time tomorrow to e-mail or write letters to some old friends that I haven't been in touch with for a while.

Comments

[jerusha]

I know exactly how your daughter feels. It was just recently that people stopped thinking I was 18. Or under.

So sorry to hear about your husband's aunt, though. It's a good reminder that we need to be proactive about seeing people we love and telling them that we love them.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

Looking young is good - sometimes!

I am hoping that S2C will be a bit more pro-active about his relationship with his parents after this very sad reminder that their generation are not immortal.

[yangchencen.livejournal.com]

My grandpa is 76, and had a stroke last year. Granted he recovered well, but now I'm in fear of that he'd suddenly be gone. And what it will do to my grandma...

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

My mother had a stroke about four years ago - she went from being very active to very disabled in, well a stroke. She has recovered pretty well, but is now an 'old' lady and I worry as well that she will have the same thing happen again and she will be gone.

[zanthinegirl.livejournal.com]

Very well said re: family feuds. I have a very bitter, divisive aunt that enjoys stirring up family drama, and I tend to just blow her off. (I actually posted about the situation last week in my own journal, still working out what to do about the situation) Maybe I need to think about mending some fences. Something to think about anyway.

And I sympathize with D-D. I always looked young for my age, and in college that used to really bug me. I never got away with underage drinking! I don't mind nearly so much now I'm in my mid late 30s! I still get carded, especially if I'm wearing jeans, a pony tail, and no makeup.

BTW, love the new look. Very springy!

[zanthinegirl.livejournal.com]

BTW, I meant to ask what a yashmak is. I haven't seen that term before. I assume it's part of the hijab, but the vast majority of muslim women I deal with are Somali, and they don't cover their faces or wear black. They just wear acres and acres of very colorful scarves!

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

I think yashmak is the right term - it was a square of black fabric fastened at the top corners to the inside of her veil, or possibly around her ears, but hanging loose over her lower face, rather than an integral part of her other clothing.

Somali women look much more cheerful.

Talking of cheerful, I think this pink might get a bit too much quite quickly - I must have a look at some of the other options and see if there is a slightly more subdued version somewhere!

[desdemonaspace]

So sorry to hear of S2C's aunt passing. I'm thinking of you all.

BTW, love the new layout. It's so fresh and vernal.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

I think the bright pink might get to be a bit too much after a week or two! I might have a look at some of the other options and see if there is a slightly toned down version somewhere!

[spikendru.livejournal.com]

Love the new lay-out, and I'm sorry about S2C's aunt; although it's good that the sisters made up last year. Family feuds can be very divisive, but it's almost as bad when close family members just fade out of your life with no feud involved. At least, if there is a feud, you can take steps to fix things and be proactive; one never knows quite what to do when someone just moves on to a new life, leaving you behind.

My sympathies to you and S2C - I'm sorry for you loss.

*hugs*

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

I must make a matching sweetpea icon with the new icon maker.

I agree - the fading out happens so much more easily - you mean to write, but have other things to do, you mean to phone, but start watching something on TV, and then it's Christmas again - so you put a letter with their card. A few years down the line you are in a hurry, so you just scrawl 'love from all' in the Christmas card, and eventually you have no idea what is happening in each others' lives at all - and stop caring. It is so sad.

[evilawyer.livejournal.com]

That is one very pink layout. Hope it helps to perk things up a little bit. Be well.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

I think it may be a bit too pink! Forcefully cheerful I think. I might look for a slightly paler version and tone it down in a week or two!

[tuesdayallweek.livejournal.com]

I know exactly what you mean. When my Grandma passed the day after Xmas, I blamed myself forever for not going to the Christmas party the day before. It would have been my last chance to see her.

Congrats on the new layout, it looks great!

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

There is so often that feeling of - I should have done this, gone thre, said that - but as long as she knew that you loved her I'm sure it was OK - after all neither of you realised that it would be her last party.

Glad you like the pink - it is cheerful, cheerful, cheerful!!

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

Family fueds are so often silly matters of pride, when you get right down to it; best to just let them go.

Tell your daughter she should enjoy being carded while she can! A lot of people think I look younger than I am, but not *that* young.

Oh, and I like you sweetpeas. It's a nice setup you've got, although probably I'd have to change all the pink after awhile. Good for spring, though.

I've got to get me one of those lances ...

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

The pink is a very pink pink, for sure! I might get fed up with it quite quickly and go for something a bit more subdued! The sweetpeas work well as a background though, I am pleased with them.

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

I suppose pink is like chocolate -- it seems too much can't be bad, but it's easier than one might think to overdose on it.

[kathyh]

In Selfridges we saw a muslim lady in complete black from head to toe, including a solid black yashmak, in the make-up department encouraging her daughter, who looked about 18 and was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, to have a complete make-up makeover.

When we went to New Zealand last year and changed planes in Dubai, and then Bahrain (for reasons of flight delays), we saw this kind of thing all the time. Mothers were in full on black, but their daughters were all in complete Western gear, jeans, expensive trainers, the lot. We were left wondering when, and if, the daughters would start wearing the black and if the mothers were in Western clothes underneath.

The moral, I think, is don't let family feuds go on and on

That is so true. J's two uncles didn't speak to each other for over 30 years for reasons that nobody can now remember, but it was resolved a few years ago and now they talk and meet regularly. I'm glad you were able to give your M-in-L's correct address and that they were in contact again when your aunt died.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

M-i-L ( and F-i-L of course), lived in Kuwait for a while. She said that the women often wore expensive designer outfits under their burkhas, which they wore as 'out-door coats' as much as anything. Girls usually wore the black from about 16.

But in the UK it is so often seen as a statement of how good a muslim you are - so the late teens daughter would, logically, have also been dressed in all-enclosing black if she saw herself as being as religious as her mother - so it looked a bit like the mother's statement was 'I am a good muslim - you are going to hell - but you might as well do it in co-ordinating make-up'!!

[ayinhara.livejournal.com]

Your new layout is very pink. You can always change it to a more subdued pallette for summer.

Family dynamics are really interesting. Some families drift apart, while others are capable of keeping close contact. I have never understood family feuds. I have to add that, in spite of saying that, that I lost complete touch with my father's side of the family after his death. My mother's family was very small and I cannot say that I stayed in touch with them either.

My husband's mother had a large family. She maintained contact with all of her siblings. Because of her, we have good relations with quite a few of my husband's cousins.

Poor Speaker. I can appreciate how hard this is for him.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

There is a version of this layout in more ice-cream colours, which I think I will swap to in a week or two - these hot pinks just went so nicely with the sweetpeas!

My father didn't stay in touch with his family either, so I have no contact at all with what I believe may be two slightly older first cousins. Families can be very 'luck of the draw' really - if the earlier generation are good at keeping in touch we have lots of relatives, if they didn't see the point, or had an arguement, we have a big gap.