curiouswombat: (suitable job for a lady)
[personal profile] curiouswombat
[livejournal.com profile] gailcarriger posted a link to this article entitled If Famous Writers Had Written Twilight where a blogger, her husband, and a writer friend consider what might have happened if other (read 'better') writers had undertaken to tell Bella, Edward and Jacob's story.

After we laughed over that list (James Joyce was my favourite), S2C and I would like to add a few more of our own, too:


Shakespeare’s Twilight and Cressida – in Verona, the love-life of star-crossed lovers Edward and Bella is complicated by Edward’s identical twin Jacob.

Piers Anthony - Edward and Jacob fall in love with Bella after seeing her panties. Puns ensue.

Tom Clancy – the story takes place in Washington DC, not Washington State, Bella is a presidential speech writer, Jacob & Edward are respectively a marine and a soldier in an armoured regiment, serving in the US forces invading Italy as part of Operation Breaking Dawn, communication with Bella is restricted to letters home sandwiched between hundreds of pages of loving descriptions of military hardware.

Terry Pratchett
Bella loves Edward but he loses interest in her when he becomes the president of the League of Black Ribboners, her fall-back love-interest, Jacob, loses all interest in Bella when he meets Sergeant Angua of the Ankh-Morpork Watch. Bella flees to remote Lancre where Granny Weatherwax give her a severe talking to, encouraging her to become an independent and self-sufficient young lady.

Edward Bulwer-Lytton – it was a dark and stormy twilight…

Feel free to join in, repost or whatever!

Date: 25/04/2012 07:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] curiouswombat.livejournal.com
Probably better than the original.

And how about Enid Blyton? The three of them would form a secret society, have a den in the woods, and smuggle biscuits and pop out of the house to have during their meetings. They would be on a secret quest to cure Edward's sparkle because he was fed up with girls thinking he was a fairy.

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