![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
curiouswombatHere is the next chapter of the story I wrote for the Tolkien BigBang, before I archive it at the usual sites. In this chapter our heroine gives someone - or someones - a rather stern talking to!
If the link to the music isn't working can someone point it out for me? Last time it worked fine for me - but not for anyone else; which had, S2C thought, something to do with me being logged in to YouTube when I did the link.
Chapter Five.
Leaving One By One.
Rated 13
3,600 words.
Chapter Five - Leaving One by One
The old boys are leaving
Leaving one by one
Where young birds go flying
Spread your wings and run
But over the fields by the drystone walls
An eagle will come no more
The Old Boys, C&R MacDonald
‘We have reached the time of lasts,’ Tindómë thought.
The ship was almost finished now; the sails had been woven and the rigging… uh… rigged. She floated on the Anduin – both a promise and a cause for sadness. If they stuck to the original plans, and there was no clear reason why they shouldn’t, then they had now picked the last crop of elderberries, soon it would be the last of the apples, and so on, through the last crop of hazelnuts, chestnuts, and blackberries.
A whole timetable of ‘lasts’ spread out in front of them and suddenly the whole colony had a much more defined sense of ‘time’ than Tindómë had experienced since she first began to live amongst elves. Legolas didn’t actually have a chart on the wall of his ‘office’ showing what was due to happen every week – but Tindómë wouldn’t have been surprised to find one hidden in a drawer…
There were plans for quite a large group to set off, in early Firith*, to spend a last winter with family and friends in Eryn Lasgalen before returning to Eryn Ithil in spring. This group would include Orophin and Lithôniel, saying farewell to her parents – or trying to persuade them to follow quickly. Tindómë would miss her husband-brother and his wife at the final Mid-winter celebrations.
(*Firith – Elven season basically October & November)
Legolas was to follow them after spending his last Mid-winter in Eryn Ithil, to say his farewells to his own family; Galanthir would accompany him – and so would Haldirin. Legolas had asked especially for Haldirin and the young ellon had been very happy to agree to go; he would get a chance to spend a little more time with Princess Rhîwen. Tindómë wondered if this was Legolas’ intent – that Haldirin might persuade Rhîwen to increase the pressure on her grandfather to eventually leave Eryn Lasgalen and sail!
Legolas had particularly asked Tindómë and Rumil not to accompany Orophin and Lithôniel, or himself, to Eryn Lasgalen. Gimli was due to arrive, ready to sail, with the spring – and the ageing dwarf had a soft spot for Tindómë; if Gimli should arrive before Legolas returned, Tindómë would be the ideal substitute. As neither Tindómë nor Rumil had kin in Eryn Lasgalen it made a lot of sense. But Tindómë did wonder if Legolas was also ensuring that Ithilienne didn’t go. He had said he was not embarrassed by her obvious crush… but perhaps he had just been being polite.
……………………………..
Almost all the harvests were now past. The days were getting shorter and there was another, very big, ‘last’ for Tindómë to face; her last meeting with the Lords of Imladris. Her last meeting this side of the ocean, that is, she stressed to herself. Not, totally and absolutely not, her last ever meeting with them – they wouldn’t dare! At least she hoped they wouldn’t.
They had been to stay with Eldarion, over the summer, and were now heading back to Imladris before winter set in. And they would not be arriving there alone; Lord Celeborn was leaving East Lorien and going to live with them.
Like the trees of Eryn Ithil those of East Lorien had recovered well from the blight of Evil when nurtured by elves; however, within the past couple of years, more than half of those Galadhrim who lived there had felt the call of the West and sailed. Now those who remained were either leaving for the Grey Havens, moving to Eryn Lasgalen or, in the case of a very small number, accompanying their Lord to Imladris.
There would be plenty of room for them there; in that same two year period many of the elves of Imladris had also felt the call to sail West. It was as if the deaths of Aragorn and Arwen had been a trigger for changes throughout ‘Elvendom in Middle Earth’; as if everyone had been holding their breath, waiting for the moment to come. And not just Elvendom, of course – Gimli’s choice to sail with Legolas had caused changes within Dwarfdom too. Tindómë wondered whether Aragorn’s death had caused any major upheavals in The Shire as well… but she no longer knew any hobbits well enough to keep in touch.
Currently Rumil was deep in conversation with Lord Celeborn in the ‘guest accommodation’ that had been designed, well over a century ago, especially to suit both visiting elves, such as the twins or King Thranduil, and Aragorn and his family. Now his Lordship and his grandsons, their Lordships(!), would be the last guests to use it. Haldirin and Ithilienne were also out somewhere – Tindómë had the twins to herself, in her own home.
She poured out wine, offered them fruit and cake, and then got straight down to business.
“Promise me,” she said, “that you two will follow us, and sail. Maybe not this year or next year, but soon.”
“We cannot,” Elladan said. He sounded both determined and yet sad.
“Cannot what?” she asked. “Cannot promise to come so soon?”
“Cannot promise that we will sail,” Elrohir said, sounding just like his twin.
“You can,” Tindómë said, firmly. “Why would you not?”
“It is difficult to imagine leaving our home, our land… or Arwen’s family. We are like the trees, deeply rooted in our own soil.” Elladan sounded even sadder.
“You mean that you are frightened to sail? Honestly?” She was genuinely curious.
“I would not put it quite like that…” Elladan said.
But “Perhaps you are right,” Elrohir said, at almost the same time. “We know how we fit into life here. We are, after all, peredhel – and here we can still have contact with our mortal relatives, who are now more closely related to us than they have been for years.”
Somehow it had never occurred to Tindómë that they might worry about life in Valinor – well any more than the other elves who sailed. She felt a real mixture of emotions – she wanted to laugh, cry, possibly shake them… and to hug them closely, all at the same time.
She finally spoke to them from the heart. “I… I’m really frightened of sailing, Els. I’m getting more and more frightened. And you are the only ones I can talk to about it, now I know that you really understand.
“I mean, if you two are worried, because you are peredhel, then imagine how I feel. I won’t know anyone when I get there, apart from the others who’ll sail on the ship, and I’m certainly not exactly an elf – maybe no one there will speak to me.”
She paused for a minute and then went on, “I’m really, really, not sure how I’ll cope amongst the Noldor of Valinor. At least Gimli was one of the Fellowship and so, if it was all right for Frodo and even Sam to go to Aman, no-one can really object to him being there. But maybe no-one will have anything to do with me – or they’ll be nasty to Rumil, or Haldirin, or Ithilienne because of me…”
“But Tinu,” Elladan said, “You are The Key!”
“Well yeah, but it isn’t written on my face – and I don’t suppose the Valar are going to be putting up signs telling people to welcome me, or wandering around the streets making sure no-one is ignoring me or being mean to me or my family…
“You guys might be worried about leaving what you know, leaving Imladris and the rest of Middle Earth, but you know that if you do sail to Valinor you’ll have people there who love you. You’ve got your parents, and Her Ladyship, and hey! If they were going to be iffy about you two for not being totally all elven then I’m guessing their experience with your other grandparents, and your Adar, might have taught them a thing or two. I mean they’re all pretty major – your paternal grandparents are more or less legends.”
That did, at least, elicit two faint smiles. But now that Tindómë had spoken of her fears it was a relief to carry on. She found herself almost babbling.
“I’ve already done it before, of course. Faced a whole new place with all new people and nobody who knew me at all – and everyone’s been totally kind to me, well almost everyone has. But it was scary and if I’d known I was going to end up leaving everything and everyone I knew, by doing what I did back on the Hellmouth, I might not have had the courage to actually do it. I mean, it all turned out really well, and I was so worried and annoyed and… well everything, when they dragged me back. But I still think I might have chosen to stay with what I knew, rather than going to somewhere so totally new, if I’d had the option at the beginning.”
“But this is where you belong!” Elrohir said.
‘File that…’ Tindómë thought, before continuing with what she was saying.
“I know that now – but it was still all scary at the beginning. This time, though, I’ve had the option and I’m going to go because I promised Legolas that I would. But Rumil is coming because I promised I’d go; Orophin is coming because Rumil is; Lithôniel because of Orophin; and my children are leaving everything that they know too – all because of something that I promised – how can I tell them that I’m frightened? I try to hide it even from Rumil.”
“I am sure everything will go well for you, tithen maethor,” Elladan said.
Tindómë turned on him. “You think? So this is where I belong, but it’ll be fine there – because?”
She answered her own question. “Because Aman is just a different part of Arda – yes? And if everything will go well for me, then it would surely go well for you two, too.
“And I need you there – I don’t have much blood family, except Rumil and our children – I don’t want to think that I’d never see you two again, not have you for times like this, when you’d understand better than anyone else.
“And you two really shouldn’t find it all that hard to face arriving in Valinor – you’ll have so much family there.
“But how can I go and meet your Naneth, like Arwen told me too, and then say ‘Oh, and the Els may well never come because, you know, the house and the valley mean so much more to them than you do?”
“Ouch!” said Elrohir. “It’s not like that…” But he didn’t sound totally convincing.
Tindómë could see a small chink – she metaphorically stuck her finger in and wriggled it around.
“Talking of Arwen, she faced a whole new life in a new place – Minas Tirith was so totally different from Imladris or Lothlorien! Aragorn did it – look how much his life changed from being a child in Imladris, and then a ranger out in the wilds, before ending up as the King of the Reunited Kingdom. If they could do it then you two can do it, too. I guess you aren’t going to find yourselves as the King and Queen like they did but…”
A sudden thought hit her. “You’re not determined to stay, even when the elves everywhere else are gone, and Aragorn and Arwen’s descendants are five or six generations down and maybe don’t even see you as family, just because you don’t want to give up Lording do you?”
“No!” Both voices were in unison.
“We would have happily remained simply the sons of the Master of Imladris until the end of time,” Elladan said.
“We are relatives of the King of the Noldor in Aman, anyway!” Elrohir said.
“Uh-huh! Not all that much of a chance of people being nasty to you two because of your human blood really then, is there?” Tindómë felt the beginnings of a grin. She pressed on.
“And aren’t you even the tiniest bit interested in all those new relatives that’ll be there? The King of the Noldor is your maternal great-grandfather, Eärendil and Elwing are, like I said, totally legends, and you’ve never yet met them. C’mon, you’ve got an actual Maia in your ancestry – and you can meet her.”
“Perhaps they would not want to meet us,” Elladan said. “We have spent much of our lives as warriors, ridden with the Dúnedain, fought full of anger against yrch. All in the West is meant to be peaceful.”
“A life of calm and peace might not suit us…” Elrohir added.
“Do you really think it’s all peace and quiet and nothing but beauty?” Tindómë asked, genuinely interested. “’Cos, y’know, that’s almost exactly how outsiders see Imladris.”
She paused, but neither of them said anything, so she went on, “I so hope it’s not all like that – I am much, much, too young for the totally quiet life! If it’s like that in the cities of the Noldor then I can see the Wood Elves heading further west in search of forests. You two would be welcome wherever we end up, for sure!”
“Grandfather won’t leave…” Elladan said.
“He is too attached to this place,” Elrohir continued, “and we could not leave him.”
“Hang on – can I just process that thought?” There was, Tindómë thought, something wrong with their statement. It seemed logical – Celeborn had chosen not to sail with his wife but to stay, except…
“Have you asked him?” she asked. “Or Glorfindel, for that matter?”
Neither said they had, and so she pressed on in the assumption that they had not broached the subject with either ancient Lord.
“The first time Rumil and I went to visit Eryn Lasgalen we stopped for a little on the outskirts of the Golden Wood,” she began.
Both twins looked at her curiously, but did not interrupt.
“I thought Rumil would be sad, but he said that in an elf’s life there are many changes. We had moved on, and it would not be the only time in our lives this would happen. There are many places in Middle Earth, he pointed out, where Elves dwelt and now dwell no more.
“Your grandfather has moved on, and moved on, and moved on. He taught me history – in the first person, guys. I mean, I know you know all this – but he started in Doriath, and lived there for years and years, but then he moved on. He wasn’t so deeply attached to the trees of Region, or the stone halls of Menegroth, that he couldn’t settle in the trees of Lorien, was he?
“And he didn’t just sit in Lothlorien when he felt it was time for him, and the Galadhrim, to move on, either. Even though he’d been the Lord of Lothlorien for an age and a half before you two were even a tiny arrow in your Adar’s quiver, so to speak. Talk about being deeply rooted… And now he’s moving on again to come and live with you two in Imladris.
“Why, do you think?” she finished.
There was the silence that she recognised as the twins talking to each other’s minds.
“We had not thought of his reasons to stay in quite the light that you have just used,” Elladan admitted, at last.
“He stayed when Grandmother sailed because the Galadhrim needed him,” Elrohir said slowly, “but soon there will be no more Galadhrim – they are leaving, one by one, to sail West. They are following Grandmother, I suppose. Those who have chosen to go to King Thranduil’s forests will no longer be Galadhrim…”
“Well, they will, sort of, to be fair,” Tindómë interrupted, “like Rumil and Orophin – but they’ll be other things too.”
“Maybe,” she suggested, slightly wickedly, “Lord Celeborn is going to Imladris for the peace and quiet.” She paused, for a heartbeat, then went on, “Except he could, if you are right, get all of that he could possibly desire if he sails.”
“He is staying, now, for his family,” Elladan said. “He would not leave Eldarion without his counsel.”
“Uh- huh… so that’s why he is moving to Imladris, which is further away from Minas Tirith than East Lorien is? Not that he’s abandoning Eldarion, I’m sure, but exactly which bit of his family is he staying for?”
There was that silence again. This, Tindómë thought, was the time to let them consider whether they’d been looking at things backwards. She left them, for a minute or two, to get more wine and cake. Cake, she had found over the years, often helped the twins think!
She decided, though, to continue with her ‘discussion’ quickly once she returned. “Do you think your grandparents, your Lord Celeborn and Her Ladyship grandparents not the legendary ones, really love each other?” she asked. “I mean, I thought if you were soul bound it sort of went without saying. But do you think they only got married for convenience? Or that maybe the soul binding sort of unravelled over the years?”
They both looked at her expressionlessly. Elrohir spoke eventually. “I do not think it is your business.”
“But,” Elladan continued, “to be soul bound is for ever – you know that. And it is a much deeper tie than anything we understand of mortal ‘love’.”
“Yeah – that’s kinda what I understand too. Being soul-bound, as I am.”
She allowed a pause of two heartbeats. “And I know what it was like when Rumil and I were apart and could no longer feel each other. Part of my soul was missing, and so was part of his. I began to fade. Of course I am still only young; it might be different when people are older…”
Two more heartbeats. “I thought when the world was bent, and you couldn’t get from Middle Earth to Aman by any ordinary route any more, that the sundering messed up the bond. At least that’s what I understood from what His Lordship told me. He said your Adar was very brave to stay here for so long after your Naneth had to sail, when he knew that the bond would be restored once he sailed.”
She waited. They were bright guys; she shouldn’t have to spell it out in words of one syllable…
That familiar silence again.
“If Grandfather wanted to sail we are not stopping him,” Elladan said.
“No? But don’t you think he worries that, if he goes without you, you might never follow? And Glorfindel. Have you thought about Glorfindel?”
No answer – just slightly curious stares. Better than the totally blank ones, anyway.
“Surely he has relatives he would like to see this side of the Dagor Dagorlath*? But, if he is sworn to stay here to care for your family… if you two hang on for a couple of millennia and then fade, or whatever, there might not be any way back for him any more. And you’ve told me yourself that he thinks the right elleth could await him in the West – you two want to keep him from ever finding the elleth whose soul sings with his?”
They were silent. Tindómë hoped they were thinking seriously.
She pressed on. “And, before the two of you even think of going ‘ah but, Glorfindel is staying for Eldarion…’ don’t bother. If Glorfindel thought his role was to stay forever with Arwen’s line, not yours, he would have moved himself, his current Asfaloth, and all his belongings to Minas Tirith. Arwen chose for her children to be the descendants of Elros. Glorfindel clearly accepts that…”
She half turned away from them before continuing, “If you two dig your heels in and decide to stay past the time of the elves, never make the decision to sail, then don’t let yourself be swayed by me needing you there – but consider that you might be keeping your Grandfather and Glorfindel away from the people they love most.”
The silence stretched out. She hoped she hadn’t upset or insulted them too much this time.
“Little one,” Elrohir spoke, “I certainly spoke truth when I first called you little warrior. I do not think anyone but our parents and Arwen has ever spoken to us quite as bluntly, or with so little fear of our reactions, since we were elflings. I cannot say that you have convinced us to follow you quickly...”
Elladan picked up without a pause, “but you have given us much food for thought and…”
“We promise to seriously think over everything you have said,” Elrohir finished.
“That’s all I wanted, I guess,” Tindómë said, with relief. “I was a bit worried that you might never speak to me again.”
She decided it was probably safe to actually hug them, now – and did. Then spoke again.
“There is one more thing…”
Two pairs of eyes gazed at her from beneath raised eye-brows.
“The right ellyth for you two might be there, too. Can you imagine if I met a pair of identical female twins, or something, and there’s no way of letting you know? I’d probably explode and die of the frustration…”
“We will also bear that in mind,” Elladan said, deadpan. But Tindómë knew him well enough to know there was an underlying, silent, smile.
Maybe, just maybe, she might have made it more likely that they would sail. She really, really, hoped so.
……………………………..
*Dagor Dagalath – the battle at the end of the world – like Ragnarok.
…………………………………………………………..
Disclaimer as Chapter One.
Next chapter is HERE.
If the link to the music isn't working can someone point it out for me? Last time it worked fine for me - but not for anyone else; which had, S2C thought, something to do with me being logged in to YouTube when I did the link.
Chapter Five.
Leaving One By One.
Rated 13
3,600 words.
Chapter Five - Leaving One by One
The old boys are leaving
Leaving one by one
Where young birds go flying
Spread your wings and run
But over the fields by the drystone walls
An eagle will come no more
The Old Boys, C&R MacDonald
‘We have reached the time of lasts,’ Tindómë thought.
The ship was almost finished now; the sails had been woven and the rigging… uh… rigged. She floated on the Anduin – both a promise and a cause for sadness. If they stuck to the original plans, and there was no clear reason why they shouldn’t, then they had now picked the last crop of elderberries, soon it would be the last of the apples, and so on, through the last crop of hazelnuts, chestnuts, and blackberries.
A whole timetable of ‘lasts’ spread out in front of them and suddenly the whole colony had a much more defined sense of ‘time’ than Tindómë had experienced since she first began to live amongst elves. Legolas didn’t actually have a chart on the wall of his ‘office’ showing what was due to happen every week – but Tindómë wouldn’t have been surprised to find one hidden in a drawer…
There were plans for quite a large group to set off, in early Firith*, to spend a last winter with family and friends in Eryn Lasgalen before returning to Eryn Ithil in spring. This group would include Orophin and Lithôniel, saying farewell to her parents – or trying to persuade them to follow quickly. Tindómë would miss her husband-brother and his wife at the final Mid-winter celebrations.
(*Firith – Elven season basically October & November)
Legolas was to follow them after spending his last Mid-winter in Eryn Ithil, to say his farewells to his own family; Galanthir would accompany him – and so would Haldirin. Legolas had asked especially for Haldirin and the young ellon had been very happy to agree to go; he would get a chance to spend a little more time with Princess Rhîwen. Tindómë wondered if this was Legolas’ intent – that Haldirin might persuade Rhîwen to increase the pressure on her grandfather to eventually leave Eryn Lasgalen and sail!
Legolas had particularly asked Tindómë and Rumil not to accompany Orophin and Lithôniel, or himself, to Eryn Lasgalen. Gimli was due to arrive, ready to sail, with the spring – and the ageing dwarf had a soft spot for Tindómë; if Gimli should arrive before Legolas returned, Tindómë would be the ideal substitute. As neither Tindómë nor Rumil had kin in Eryn Lasgalen it made a lot of sense. But Tindómë did wonder if Legolas was also ensuring that Ithilienne didn’t go. He had said he was not embarrassed by her obvious crush… but perhaps he had just been being polite.
……………………………..
Almost all the harvests were now past. The days were getting shorter and there was another, very big, ‘last’ for Tindómë to face; her last meeting with the Lords of Imladris. Her last meeting this side of the ocean, that is, she stressed to herself. Not, totally and absolutely not, her last ever meeting with them – they wouldn’t dare! At least she hoped they wouldn’t.
They had been to stay with Eldarion, over the summer, and were now heading back to Imladris before winter set in. And they would not be arriving there alone; Lord Celeborn was leaving East Lorien and going to live with them.
Like the trees of Eryn Ithil those of East Lorien had recovered well from the blight of Evil when nurtured by elves; however, within the past couple of years, more than half of those Galadhrim who lived there had felt the call of the West and sailed. Now those who remained were either leaving for the Grey Havens, moving to Eryn Lasgalen or, in the case of a very small number, accompanying their Lord to Imladris.
There would be plenty of room for them there; in that same two year period many of the elves of Imladris had also felt the call to sail West. It was as if the deaths of Aragorn and Arwen had been a trigger for changes throughout ‘Elvendom in Middle Earth’; as if everyone had been holding their breath, waiting for the moment to come. And not just Elvendom, of course – Gimli’s choice to sail with Legolas had caused changes within Dwarfdom too. Tindómë wondered whether Aragorn’s death had caused any major upheavals in The Shire as well… but she no longer knew any hobbits well enough to keep in touch.
Currently Rumil was deep in conversation with Lord Celeborn in the ‘guest accommodation’ that had been designed, well over a century ago, especially to suit both visiting elves, such as the twins or King Thranduil, and Aragorn and his family. Now his Lordship and his grandsons, their Lordships(!), would be the last guests to use it. Haldirin and Ithilienne were also out somewhere – Tindómë had the twins to herself, in her own home.
She poured out wine, offered them fruit and cake, and then got straight down to business.
“Promise me,” she said, “that you two will follow us, and sail. Maybe not this year or next year, but soon.”
“We cannot,” Elladan said. He sounded both determined and yet sad.
“Cannot what?” she asked. “Cannot promise to come so soon?”
“Cannot promise that we will sail,” Elrohir said, sounding just like his twin.
“You can,” Tindómë said, firmly. “Why would you not?”
“It is difficult to imagine leaving our home, our land… or Arwen’s family. We are like the trees, deeply rooted in our own soil.” Elladan sounded even sadder.
“You mean that you are frightened to sail? Honestly?” She was genuinely curious.
“I would not put it quite like that…” Elladan said.
But “Perhaps you are right,” Elrohir said, at almost the same time. “We know how we fit into life here. We are, after all, peredhel – and here we can still have contact with our mortal relatives, who are now more closely related to us than they have been for years.”
Somehow it had never occurred to Tindómë that they might worry about life in Valinor – well any more than the other elves who sailed. She felt a real mixture of emotions – she wanted to laugh, cry, possibly shake them… and to hug them closely, all at the same time.
She finally spoke to them from the heart. “I… I’m really frightened of sailing, Els. I’m getting more and more frightened. And you are the only ones I can talk to about it, now I know that you really understand.
“I mean, if you two are worried, because you are peredhel, then imagine how I feel. I won’t know anyone when I get there, apart from the others who’ll sail on the ship, and I’m certainly not exactly an elf – maybe no one there will speak to me.”
She paused for a minute and then went on, “I’m really, really, not sure how I’ll cope amongst the Noldor of Valinor. At least Gimli was one of the Fellowship and so, if it was all right for Frodo and even Sam to go to Aman, no-one can really object to him being there. But maybe no-one will have anything to do with me – or they’ll be nasty to Rumil, or Haldirin, or Ithilienne because of me…”
“But Tinu,” Elladan said, “You are The Key!”
“Well yeah, but it isn’t written on my face – and I don’t suppose the Valar are going to be putting up signs telling people to welcome me, or wandering around the streets making sure no-one is ignoring me or being mean to me or my family…
“You guys might be worried about leaving what you know, leaving Imladris and the rest of Middle Earth, but you know that if you do sail to Valinor you’ll have people there who love you. You’ve got your parents, and Her Ladyship, and hey! If they were going to be iffy about you two for not being totally all elven then I’m guessing their experience with your other grandparents, and your Adar, might have taught them a thing or two. I mean they’re all pretty major – your paternal grandparents are more or less legends.”
That did, at least, elicit two faint smiles. But now that Tindómë had spoken of her fears it was a relief to carry on. She found herself almost babbling.
“I’ve already done it before, of course. Faced a whole new place with all new people and nobody who knew me at all – and everyone’s been totally kind to me, well almost everyone has. But it was scary and if I’d known I was going to end up leaving everything and everyone I knew, by doing what I did back on the Hellmouth, I might not have had the courage to actually do it. I mean, it all turned out really well, and I was so worried and annoyed and… well everything, when they dragged me back. But I still think I might have chosen to stay with what I knew, rather than going to somewhere so totally new, if I’d had the option at the beginning.”
“But this is where you belong!” Elrohir said.
‘File that…’ Tindómë thought, before continuing with what she was saying.
“I know that now – but it was still all scary at the beginning. This time, though, I’ve had the option and I’m going to go because I promised Legolas that I would. But Rumil is coming because I promised I’d go; Orophin is coming because Rumil is; Lithôniel because of Orophin; and my children are leaving everything that they know too – all because of something that I promised – how can I tell them that I’m frightened? I try to hide it even from Rumil.”
“I am sure everything will go well for you, tithen maethor,” Elladan said.
Tindómë turned on him. “You think? So this is where I belong, but it’ll be fine there – because?”
She answered her own question. “Because Aman is just a different part of Arda – yes? And if everything will go well for me, then it would surely go well for you two, too.
“And I need you there – I don’t have much blood family, except Rumil and our children – I don’t want to think that I’d never see you two again, not have you for times like this, when you’d understand better than anyone else.
“And you two really shouldn’t find it all that hard to face arriving in Valinor – you’ll have so much family there.
“But how can I go and meet your Naneth, like Arwen told me too, and then say ‘Oh, and the Els may well never come because, you know, the house and the valley mean so much more to them than you do?”
“Ouch!” said Elrohir. “It’s not like that…” But he didn’t sound totally convincing.
Tindómë could see a small chink – she metaphorically stuck her finger in and wriggled it around.
“Talking of Arwen, she faced a whole new life in a new place – Minas Tirith was so totally different from Imladris or Lothlorien! Aragorn did it – look how much his life changed from being a child in Imladris, and then a ranger out in the wilds, before ending up as the King of the Reunited Kingdom. If they could do it then you two can do it, too. I guess you aren’t going to find yourselves as the King and Queen like they did but…”
A sudden thought hit her. “You’re not determined to stay, even when the elves everywhere else are gone, and Aragorn and Arwen’s descendants are five or six generations down and maybe don’t even see you as family, just because you don’t want to give up Lording do you?”
“No!” Both voices were in unison.
“We would have happily remained simply the sons of the Master of Imladris until the end of time,” Elladan said.
“We are relatives of the King of the Noldor in Aman, anyway!” Elrohir said.
“Uh-huh! Not all that much of a chance of people being nasty to you two because of your human blood really then, is there?” Tindómë felt the beginnings of a grin. She pressed on.
“And aren’t you even the tiniest bit interested in all those new relatives that’ll be there? The King of the Noldor is your maternal great-grandfather, Eärendil and Elwing are, like I said, totally legends, and you’ve never yet met them. C’mon, you’ve got an actual Maia in your ancestry – and you can meet her.”
“Perhaps they would not want to meet us,” Elladan said. “We have spent much of our lives as warriors, ridden with the Dúnedain, fought full of anger against yrch. All in the West is meant to be peaceful.”
“A life of calm and peace might not suit us…” Elrohir added.
“Do you really think it’s all peace and quiet and nothing but beauty?” Tindómë asked, genuinely interested. “’Cos, y’know, that’s almost exactly how outsiders see Imladris.”
She paused, but neither of them said anything, so she went on, “I so hope it’s not all like that – I am much, much, too young for the totally quiet life! If it’s like that in the cities of the Noldor then I can see the Wood Elves heading further west in search of forests. You two would be welcome wherever we end up, for sure!”
“Grandfather won’t leave…” Elladan said.
“He is too attached to this place,” Elrohir continued, “and we could not leave him.”
“Hang on – can I just process that thought?” There was, Tindómë thought, something wrong with their statement. It seemed logical – Celeborn had chosen not to sail with his wife but to stay, except…
“Have you asked him?” she asked. “Or Glorfindel, for that matter?”
Neither said they had, and so she pressed on in the assumption that they had not broached the subject with either ancient Lord.
“The first time Rumil and I went to visit Eryn Lasgalen we stopped for a little on the outskirts of the Golden Wood,” she began.
Both twins looked at her curiously, but did not interrupt.
“I thought Rumil would be sad, but he said that in an elf’s life there are many changes. We had moved on, and it would not be the only time in our lives this would happen. There are many places in Middle Earth, he pointed out, where Elves dwelt and now dwell no more.
“Your grandfather has moved on, and moved on, and moved on. He taught me history – in the first person, guys. I mean, I know you know all this – but he started in Doriath, and lived there for years and years, but then he moved on. He wasn’t so deeply attached to the trees of Region, or the stone halls of Menegroth, that he couldn’t settle in the trees of Lorien, was he?
“And he didn’t just sit in Lothlorien when he felt it was time for him, and the Galadhrim, to move on, either. Even though he’d been the Lord of Lothlorien for an age and a half before you two were even a tiny arrow in your Adar’s quiver, so to speak. Talk about being deeply rooted… And now he’s moving on again to come and live with you two in Imladris.
“Why, do you think?” she finished.
There was the silence that she recognised as the twins talking to each other’s minds.
“We had not thought of his reasons to stay in quite the light that you have just used,” Elladan admitted, at last.
“He stayed when Grandmother sailed because the Galadhrim needed him,” Elrohir said slowly, “but soon there will be no more Galadhrim – they are leaving, one by one, to sail West. They are following Grandmother, I suppose. Those who have chosen to go to King Thranduil’s forests will no longer be Galadhrim…”
“Well, they will, sort of, to be fair,” Tindómë interrupted, “like Rumil and Orophin – but they’ll be other things too.”
“Maybe,” she suggested, slightly wickedly, “Lord Celeborn is going to Imladris for the peace and quiet.” She paused, for a heartbeat, then went on, “Except he could, if you are right, get all of that he could possibly desire if he sails.”
“He is staying, now, for his family,” Elladan said. “He would not leave Eldarion without his counsel.”
“Uh- huh… so that’s why he is moving to Imladris, which is further away from Minas Tirith than East Lorien is? Not that he’s abandoning Eldarion, I’m sure, but exactly which bit of his family is he staying for?”
There was that silence again. This, Tindómë thought, was the time to let them consider whether they’d been looking at things backwards. She left them, for a minute or two, to get more wine and cake. Cake, she had found over the years, often helped the twins think!
She decided, though, to continue with her ‘discussion’ quickly once she returned. “Do you think your grandparents, your Lord Celeborn and Her Ladyship grandparents not the legendary ones, really love each other?” she asked. “I mean, I thought if you were soul bound it sort of went without saying. But do you think they only got married for convenience? Or that maybe the soul binding sort of unravelled over the years?”
They both looked at her expressionlessly. Elrohir spoke eventually. “I do not think it is your business.”
“But,” Elladan continued, “to be soul bound is for ever – you know that. And it is a much deeper tie than anything we understand of mortal ‘love’.”
“Yeah – that’s kinda what I understand too. Being soul-bound, as I am.”
She allowed a pause of two heartbeats. “And I know what it was like when Rumil and I were apart and could no longer feel each other. Part of my soul was missing, and so was part of his. I began to fade. Of course I am still only young; it might be different when people are older…”
Two more heartbeats. “I thought when the world was bent, and you couldn’t get from Middle Earth to Aman by any ordinary route any more, that the sundering messed up the bond. At least that’s what I understood from what His Lordship told me. He said your Adar was very brave to stay here for so long after your Naneth had to sail, when he knew that the bond would be restored once he sailed.”
She waited. They were bright guys; she shouldn’t have to spell it out in words of one syllable…
That familiar silence again.
“If Grandfather wanted to sail we are not stopping him,” Elladan said.
“No? But don’t you think he worries that, if he goes without you, you might never follow? And Glorfindel. Have you thought about Glorfindel?”
No answer – just slightly curious stares. Better than the totally blank ones, anyway.
“Surely he has relatives he would like to see this side of the Dagor Dagorlath*? But, if he is sworn to stay here to care for your family… if you two hang on for a couple of millennia and then fade, or whatever, there might not be any way back for him any more. And you’ve told me yourself that he thinks the right elleth could await him in the West – you two want to keep him from ever finding the elleth whose soul sings with his?”
They were silent. Tindómë hoped they were thinking seriously.
She pressed on. “And, before the two of you even think of going ‘ah but, Glorfindel is staying for Eldarion…’ don’t bother. If Glorfindel thought his role was to stay forever with Arwen’s line, not yours, he would have moved himself, his current Asfaloth, and all his belongings to Minas Tirith. Arwen chose for her children to be the descendants of Elros. Glorfindel clearly accepts that…”
She half turned away from them before continuing, “If you two dig your heels in and decide to stay past the time of the elves, never make the decision to sail, then don’t let yourself be swayed by me needing you there – but consider that you might be keeping your Grandfather and Glorfindel away from the people they love most.”
The silence stretched out. She hoped she hadn’t upset or insulted them too much this time.
“Little one,” Elrohir spoke, “I certainly spoke truth when I first called you little warrior. I do not think anyone but our parents and Arwen has ever spoken to us quite as bluntly, or with so little fear of our reactions, since we were elflings. I cannot say that you have convinced us to follow you quickly...”
Elladan picked up without a pause, “but you have given us much food for thought and…”
“We promise to seriously think over everything you have said,” Elrohir finished.
“That’s all I wanted, I guess,” Tindómë said, with relief. “I was a bit worried that you might never speak to me again.”
She decided it was probably safe to actually hug them, now – and did. Then spoke again.
“There is one more thing…”
Two pairs of eyes gazed at her from beneath raised eye-brows.
“The right ellyth for you two might be there, too. Can you imagine if I met a pair of identical female twins, or something, and there’s no way of letting you know? I’d probably explode and die of the frustration…”
“We will also bear that in mind,” Elladan said, deadpan. But Tindómë knew him well enough to know there was an underlying, silent, smile.
Maybe, just maybe, she might have made it more likely that they would sail. She really, really, hoped so.
……………………………..
*Dagor Dagalath – the battle at the end of the world – like Ragnarok.
…………………………………………………………..
Disclaimer as Chapter One.
Next chapter is HERE.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 29/08/2011 08:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 29/08/2011 09:29 pm (UTC)I was only thinking about you earlier - I must post the illustrations you did for me, especially as I currently have 'Dust' as my wallpaper!
no subject
Date: 19/09/2011 09:47 pm (UTC)Also did you decide to stop linking the chapters together?
no subject
Date: 19/09/2011 10:08 pm (UTC)Firstly - for you, personally - http://curiouswombat.livejournal.com/290507.html#cutid1
no subject
Date: 19/09/2011 10:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 19/09/2011 10:44 pm (UTC)And the more I thought about the twins the clearer it became to me, and therefore to Tindómë, that most of the possible reasons for staying behind didn't really hold water. And yes, the family deserves something a bit less tragic for a change.