Eurovision - the Qualifying Round!

[curiouswombat]

Yay! BBC3 showed the qualifying round for Eurovision! We love Eurovision!

Do you want to know what S2C and I thought of all the 28 competitors in this round?

For those of you who don't want to know it is under the cut -

.

Bulgaria – wonderful stuff , driving percussion, wonderful voice - stunning.

Israel – really funny guys singing about not wanting to die when someone pushes the button.

Cyprus – loud lady singing in French.

Belarus – plastic looking guy – bit George Hamilton – singing an emotional ballad – some say he looks like Dead Di.

Iceland middle-aged hairy rocker singing rock ballad.

Georgia – Sounded a bit Kate Bush or Bjork – very good.

Montenegro – average rockish song noteworthy for being sung by a elf-hobbit cross.

Switzerland – rather boring song about vampires being alive. Obviously think that ‘costumes get points’ – but the costumes are very ordinary compared with Lordi.

Moldova – ethnic rock – girl in rather interesting outfit….I think it stayed in place by being stitched there with her pubic hair.

Netherlands – lady with a big voice, singing a rather trad ‘Eurovision’ song – but still better than the British one by a long way.

Albania – heavy going ballad by a guy looking a bit like Ricky Gervais and some woman wearing gold chains and a lot of froth, attached to a corset.

Denmark – Dana international rides again.

Croatia – Chris Rea B side – very lined and lived in guy (apparently he is the oldest competitior) with yet another girl (or possibly another transvestite) in chain mail.

Poland – Aqua copies, 10 years or so too late with less talent.

Serbia – another emo/rock ballad, but the girl had quite a voice – sounded a bit like Europe might have with a female singer.

Czechs – Bill Bailey does Metallica – or Rammstein Lite! Animal from the Muppetts played drums.

Portugal – 1980s Spanish holiday resort music. And outfits.

FYROM – another forgettable emo ballad sung by a girl standing in a high wind wearing something like a jewelled version of my old gym kit….

Norway – Gerri Halliwell look alike dressed as a dryad with a dead animal attached to her bum. Europop – dire, I fear.

Malta - Imelda Marcos in a yellow kimono type thing – singing about vertigo – It would make me feel ill too.

Andorra: McFly play New Found Glory. Not a bad effort, considering that the band must contain every male member of the Andorran population between 15 and 19.

Hungary: annoying woman singing a tedious soulful blues number as if in pain.


Estonia – catwoman in a wind tunnel screeching out a totally forgettable rock number about the rain as if someone has just stood on her paw. Or maybe just a normal cat reaction to rain….

Belgium: news that Disco is dead has not yet reached Belgium.

Slovenia: One of Shakespeare’s Sister looking like a Wicked Witch in a Prom dress topped with a black leather corset, with light bulbs set into the palms of her hands, warbling an operatic rendition of a diabolically dire Eurotune.

Turkey: the waiter from a greasy kebab restaurant does karaoke in front of scantily-clad harem girls wearing gold breasplates (who look as if they come from Essex) For some unknown reason he sang the last verse waving a pair of knickers above his head.

Austria: man in chain-mail and a guitarist in a space-suit, with backing dancers dressed as red budgies – some of them with sequin covered codpieces. The song was vaguely rock, but definitely forgettable.

Latvia: an interminable procession of men in top hats, resembling a crowd of extras from 'Gangs of New York', bludgeoning a ballad into submission by sheer volume and weight of numbers.



As you can see - we were not terribly impressed with some of them!

Comments

[maddeinin.livejournal.com]

I'm so sad Andorra didn't qualify! And that the Latvians "singing" in "Italian" did. Ugh. And Turkey! Ugh ugh ugh.

Whatever. Here's hoping the countries that weren't in the semi are more interesting. (Finland isn't, but the others.)

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

I was so sorry the Andorrans didn't make it - they were not at all bad.

And I'm with you on Turkey and Latvia - yeuch!

I have to admit to being greatly amused by the Swiss not qualifying - as so many people were tipping them to win the whole thing! Serves them right really - everyone knows that vampires are not alive - it's why they are classed as undead...or something!

[bogwitch.livejournal.com]

>>some say he looks like Dead Di

As she looks now.

>>Dana international rides again

without the talent or the looks.

Belgium could have been saved, but only by Jamiroquois.

I was very pleased to see Bulgaria and Georgia through. I didn't mind Norway, Austria or Malta, but that didn't mean I liked them, I just thought they were strong pop songs. Same with Hungary, but without the pop - she was miles better than Latvia.

I think the Czechs looked at Lordi and thought they could do it too, however they missed the point. Lordi didn't win because the music was good, but because it was a huge over-the-top performance, which the Czechs didn't deliver.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

Bulgaria and Georgia were very much the class acts weren't they? And not at all what British Powers that Be who do the short-listing regard as 'Eurovision' material. But then 'Typical Eurovision' is not often what wins. Pity a lot of people in Britain haven't noticed yet!

I am hoping that my Bulgarian citizenship comes through before Saturday - although at least my passport has Isle of Man in big letters, and only mentions Britain in the small print - the British entry being totally embarrassing!

I was amused to find the Swiss failing to qualify - as they were so heavily plugged.

[bogwitch.livejournal.com]

Those two are just up my street, which made me surprised they got through! I really don't know what our selectors are on (through I suspect the establishment made up of Simon Cowell's ilk are responsible).

You don't want Bulgarian citizenship, you won't be able to vote for them! (I'm not usually one for tele-voting, but Eurovision is different. Honest).

The Swiss were terrible, I can't imagine who would have tipped them.

[speakr2customrs.livejournal.com]

The Swiss were the most overt Lordi rip-off, although with the genre converted to mediocre Europop instead of Metal; I presume the pundits made their predictions on that basis and ignored the total lack of any imagination, flair, or musical ability in the Swiss entry.

The pundits also forgot that Switzerland, having been neutral since 1674, has no allies.

[bogwitch.livejournal.com]

The whole point of Lordi was that they were grotesquely unique (for Eurovision anyway), it won't work again. Not for awhile anyway.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

you won't be able to vote for them!

There is that...but I wouldn't want anyone in Europe actually thinking I might like Scutch, or Crotch or whatever they're called....Maybe I could be Andorran...

You can hear both Bulgaria and Georgia here - http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6584853.stm?dynamic_vote=ON
or you could before the programme - noticing bit about dynamic vote in the address.

[bogwitch.livejournal.com]

Already ahead of you!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/eurovision/2007/contestants/

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I will pass that link on to D-d - who is organising a Eurovision party in her room at uni - as her bedroom has the only TV in the house - and it won't work if you take it downstairs. She says she has ordered her Buck's Fizz and Garlic Bread from Tesco so all is set for a good night!

[bogwitch.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a cosy night.

[beckyzoole.livejournal.com]

I miss Eurovision! At least I'll be able to see the songs on YouTube. (The Israeli guys really are funny, but the humor is mostly in the Hebrew part, I think. Also because they are an old folk-song group that's been around forever, suddenly singing rap.)

Do you think Bulgaria will win?

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

Eurovision is such an institution - I will have to watch alone, which is much less fun, as the husband will be going out to work about 1/3 way through it.

The Israeli's didn't make it through qualifying - pity - they were better than a couple of the ones that did.

I hope Bulgaria win - really original things do more often than the British organisation seem to notice - the Ukranian winners three or four years ago were in a similar vein - mix of their own tradition and rock. I also like Finland's entry for this year, which went into the finals automatically so wasn't in this round. I haven't heard a few of the entries yet, so there might be another really original one, or just a really skilful one, out there.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

Apparently it is possible to watch on-line - but I'm not sure where - possibly via the official site. Otherwise almost all of this years entries are here (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/eurovision/2007/contestants/) - only almost - there doesn't seem to be a video of the Russian one there.

[bojojoti.livejournal.com]

Is this like American Idol or Miss Universe? A singing contest for the winners of different countries who compete against one another and all of Europe votes for the winners?

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

Eurovision is an Institution! It was originally a song contest to celebrate the ability to show TV programmes to a number of countries at the same time and intended to help unite Europe, starting in 1956. the history on Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurovision_song_contest).

The final has 24 countries competing - but there are more than that - hence the need for semi-finals! So last night 28 countries competed for 10 places - 10 more places go to the top ten countries from last year, and four are reserved for 'The Big Four' who have traditionally provided the most money - Britain, Spain, Germany and France.

Every country puts in one act - how they pick that act varies from country to country - some will ask one of their top acts to represent them, others will use someone no-one seems to have heard of, others will hold an American Idol type competition to find the entry.

Britain have a panel that choose a short list, then a special phone-vote programme to pick the actual entry. For some reason there is an entrenched view in the British panel that a 'Eurovision song' should sound like a mediocre pop ditty from the 1970s - this year's entry is truly dire - including dressing up as air cabin crew.

Every country gets to vote in the finals - including non qualifiers - so 42 countries vote this year! Almost all hold a phone vote. Voting is for your top 10, more points the higher you are placed. Countries cannot vote for themselves. The announcement of the votes from every country is a major part, and takes for ever.

Winners are so variable in style - an Israeli drag queen won a few years ago, sometimes a strong ballad wins, sometimes something really unusual - my favourite of all time I think was Ukraine Ruslana in 2004 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=4x7CatMaINE)

That clip also gives you some idea of the size of the actual concert itself - the TV audience is abour 600million! Many countries outside Europe also have it as mainstream TV - Korea, Saudi Arabia and so on.

Last year it was won by Lordi from Finland (http://youtube.com/watch?v=uA3VFu3Hsmo) which is why it is in Finland this year. They were wonderfully OTT - the entire band were costumed as demons from Buffy, and the lead singer waved a large battle axe and unfurled a pair of wings towards the end of the performance!

The BBC commentary is done by Terry Wogan, who is amusingly quizzical about the whole thing - very tongue in cheek, and again part of the tradition!

[bojojoti.livejournal.com]

What would I do without you? This has been going on since I've been alive, and I've never heard of it!

We get BBC shows over here, mostly mysteries (I love) and a few comedies that the typical American doesn't know quite how to view (Was that funny? Oh, dear, there was a laugh track playing...) I do love my Doctor Who and nobody does costume dramas like the BBC.

We should have Eurovision shown here. It could take the place of one of the plethora of dead body shows or a mindless sitcoms.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

It is totally kitch and over the top - the voting takes about two hours, and Terry Wogan is convinced that the entire population of Europe only vote for their allies or next door neighbours, and refuse to vote for Britain because of Iraq - the possibility that we have totally rubbish songs never seems to occur to him!

He accused Croatians of voting for Serbia just because they were both part of Yugoslavia last year - the fact that they had a long and bloody war to get away only a few years ago didn't seem to have seeped into his conscience!

D-d is organising a Eurovision party in her room at uni, she is the only one with a TV - and it doesn't work if they take it downstairs. They will all sit around arguing about which is best/worst, discussing how stupid the presenters are, and drinking Bucks Fizz (from Marks and Spencer - high on the orange, low on the champagne!) in honour of the fact that a British group called that once won - years before they were born!

The entertainment in the interval, whilst everyone votes by phone, is also a competitive sport - each host trying to out-do the previous one! Riverdance started life as the interval act in Dublin.....

They really ought to let you all in on the fun!

[spikereader.livejournal.com]

Oh, if only I'd checked properly to see what was on last night - though I did enjoy leaving the radio on and listening to the whole of the Radcliffe and Maconie show for a change.

I shall be watching tomorrow though.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

Oh it was wel worth watching! I felt sorry for the little Andoran lads - they were actually so much better than a couple who did make it through - like the Latvian men with hats...

I loved Bulgaria, and Georgia, of these qualifiers - and having seen a clip of the Fins own entry I was rather taken with it too. Boggy put a link up above which seems to get you to all the competitors.

[vilajunkie.livejournal.com]

This is so much better than all the American drivel that makes it to our tellies. Bojojoti gave a pretty good idea of the UK shows that make it over to the US, but here's a list of the actual shows I can think of (ones that aren't Americanized later on): Coupling, Are You Being Served?, Keeping Up Appearances, Fawlty Towers, that one with "Dame" (rolls eyes) Judi, Prime Suspect, Monty Python, Ballykissangel (though that's a NI/RoI show really), that Forsythes show, Teletubbies, and...whew...I can't really think of any others. But that should give you a pretty good idea of what UK shows we have. Oh, and Masterpiece Theatre of course.

If only the Hogsfather DVD was released to the US...*big Librarian grin*

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

I was going to say 'order it from Amazon,' when it occured to me that it won't play on players from another zone. Although I am never sure whether this is true of playing things on computers.

Ballykissangel was actually a BBC programme, simply set in Eire, so is justifiably in your list of British TV. It sounds as if some of what you get is very old!

[vilajunkie.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm not so sure about that either. I use a Microsoft/Windows, so, knowing how many supposed problems Microsoft is vulnerable to, it may not work on my pooter.

Yeah, we don't get many new programs (programmes?) from the UK. Most of what we get that IS new are game shows that get turned into Americanized versions. Such as "The Weakest Link" during the pre-9/11 years and "How Clean is Your House?" more recently. Actually, did you know that even though "Coupling" is the British version of the American "Friends", the telly producers went so far as to make an Americanized "Coupling" (same title and probably the same characters)? Yeah, that proves how original and creative American programming is.