curiouswombat: (Writerconicon)
[personal profile] curiouswombat
Firstly here is the list of characters that I wrote for myself before we started -
1. Arwen
2.Alexia Tarabotti
3. Spike
4. Giles
5. Willow
6. Thorin
7. Lessa
8. Legolas
9. Eomer
10. Dawn
11.Galadriel
12.Eowyn
13.Lord Akeldama
14 Elladan&Elrohir
15. Anya

1,6,8,9,11,12 &14 are from Tolkien, 2 & 13 are from the Parasol Protectorate books, 3,4,5,10 & 15 are from the Buffyverse, and 7 is from Anne McCffrey's Dragonriders of Pern books.

The answers to everyone's questions are here



For[livejournal.com profile] gillo;

Giles, Eomer and Eowyn are on a desert island together. Who copes best, who builds a boat and who loses it?

I can see Giles taking charge, getting Éomer to do all the heavy work under his instructions, and Éowyn getting ratty as they both expect her to do the domestic stuff like cooking whilst they make their boys’ toy!


Spike, Lessa, Galadriel and Anya go to a party. Who snogs whom?

Oh dear – Spike would be drawn to Lessa – tiny, powerful, used to taking command… and finding himself in danger of being dropped from a great height off a dragon if he persists. I think even Spike might steer clear of Galadriel – and so he would probably end up with Anya – not unheard of after all!


Elladan&Elrohir, Alexia Tarabotti and Arwen are trapped in a lift. What happens?

The twins and Arwen would be remarkably calm – they aren’t in a hurry. Alexia would attempt to understand what the mechanical problem is, be extremely sensible, and if she is unable to affect a repair using items of her clothing, or the twins weaponry, would expect her friend Mme Lefoux to rescue her. Preferably before she got too hungry.

Lord Akeldama, Legolas and Thorin are attacked by a monster. What sort is it and which of them slays it?

Well, in his own way Lord Akeldama is a monster, being a vampire – but putting this aside they would be attacked by a troll, and Legolas and Thorin would both attack it, and claim to have slain it totally without the aid of ‘that elf’ or ‘that dwarf’.

Willow, Dawn, Elladan&Elrohir and Anya hold a dinner party. Who cooks, what do they eat and who is the best guest?

The twins would be good at cooking the meat course – provided they could do it outdoors on the barbie. Willow could make pancakes for dessert. Dawn would be a good guest from the point of view of eating everything put in front of her – and Anya would doubtless be able to regale all with interesting stories.


For [livejournal.com profile] cairistiona7

Galadriel has a sudden attack of claustrophobia. How does he/she react?

Ah… that explains why she was happy to leave the stone Halls of Menegroth to live in an upmarket tree-house…


For [livejournal.com profile] brutti_ma_buoni

Legolas and Elladan&Elrohir go out for a meal. Where? Why? Who pays? Does anything specially bad/good happen?

Hmm – their idea of going out for a meal probably includes hunting it for themselves.
However – I think on this occasion they will hie themselves to a tavern in the lower circles of Minas Tirith, to escape from all the middle-aged females of the court simpering over them and thrusting unmarried daughters in their direction. They will wager between themselves on ‘which of the people at the bar will leave first’ to decide who pays; and if one more member of the visiting Rohirrim tries to proposition Legolas they may get thrown out for becoming involved in a brawl.

Willow and Anya are allies against Giles and Éomer. Who are the White Hats? Who are the victors? What is the contest about?

Hmm – Willow and Anya are the white hats and win hands down, as the contest is about the superiority of the female of the species under almost all circumstances.

Galadriel is tied to a railway track in the path of an oncoming train. Dawn, Lessa, Alexia and Thorin are in the area. Who tied Galadriel down? Who saves her? Who is driving the train? What is the fourth person doing?

Thorin tied her down, Alexia is driving the train, Lessa swoops down a-dragonback to save her, and Dawn is recording the whole thing to put onto youTube.

Arwen, Alexia Tarabotti, and Spike visit the Isle of Man. Who goes where and why?

Arwen would want to do a trip around the TT course on a high powered motorbike – she is fed up being regarded as the genteel figure who smiles sweetly and does embroidery.

Alexia might quite fancy the same thing – but it would be so difficult in a bustle and she really does like to retain her dignity where possible. So she would do a tour of all the best placed tea-rooms and try out their proper afternoon teas. (Arwen might want to join her, post lap of the course!).

Spike would visit the Grove museum (as long as the day was gloomy and overcast – not too unlikely a circumstance), to remind him how much more fun life is now than it was when he was a lad. And he can join Alexia, and possibly Arwen, in the tearoom after his trip down memory lane.


For [livejournal.com profile] mummy_owl

Which one would you most like to marry (except that you can't, obviously - that would be bigamy!) Hmm – if we are thinking bigamy I’d go for Elladan & Elrohir – might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb!

Which ones are most like -

A - your husband
Giles
B - your dentist Thorin – can put you in an awkward position and he’s good with metalwork!
C - your grandmother Anya – immensely practical and good at wielding a frying pan.


For[livejournal.com profile] jay_of_lasgalen

How did Giles and Éomer first meet?

In rather embarrassing circumstances; Giles was drunk and tried to correct Éomer’s accent when he thought the King of the Riddermark was speaking Old English rather than the closely related Rohirric. Telling him he had very pretty hair probably did not improve the situation… but at least he didn’t say that to Legolas or one of the twins or he might not have just found it difficult to walk for a day or two.


For [livejournal.com profile] huinare

Alexia, Éomer, and Lord Akeldama are having a nice candlelit dinner in a very upscale restaurant when a tarantula suddenly crawls across the table and onto Lord Akeldama plate! How does everyone react?

Alexia would immediately pick up her parasol to select the correct weapon function, Lord Akeldama would appear to have a fit of the vapours as tarantulas are simply the wrong shape and colour for this year – but actually be ready to kill it in any way necessary to protect his sweet cupcake of a friend (which could be either of the other two!).

Éomer would draw Guthwine and smite it – probably spilling dinner onto Lord A’s lap who would then have a genuine attack of the vapours at the damage to his clothing – but be very impressed with Éomer’s muscles, forgive him for the sartorial embarrassment, and proposition him.


For [livejournal.com profile] hobbituk

Lessa and Alexia are stuck on a boat for 8 hours. When they get off, how are they getting on?
They will have got on extremely well, once each realised that the other was her equal and not cowed by her! Although had it been for a great deal longer Alexia might have got very tetchy if there was no food available and begun to consider Lessa as a possible food source.

Éomer and Éowyn are both competing for the same job - customer services manager. Who will get it, and why?

Éowyn. She will point out to her brother that it is very much like running a household rather than a éored, that he wouldn’t be able to take his sword to work with him, and Firefoot wouldn’t fit in the lift. He would decide not to go ahead with the interview, leaving her as the only candidate!


For [livejournal.com profile] ningloreth

Galadriel and Eowyn have an important task to do. What is it? And how does Willow help them?

Éomer needs a wife. It is, after all, a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a kingdom must be in want of a wife. Especially if his sister is to be able to leave home and marry. Willow helps by casting a spell that highlights all the ladies at the ball who actually do like horses, rather than just saying they do because they are also aware of that universal truth.

Giles and Lessa murder Spike. Why? And who solves the crime?

Giles has never really trusted Spike – and if he tells Lessa that he is a carrier of some sort of dragon plague she will certainly help. Galadriel solves the crime. It is of little interest to her, but one needs something to entertain one since one retired to Valinor – and it is interesting to meet a mortal with Lessa’s abilities to also look into minds and influence people. Puny as such abilities are when compared with Galadriel’s own, of course.

Dawn asks Legolas on a date. What does Legolas say? And what does Anya think about it?

Well in my AU he would assume she has either drunk so much wine that she thinks he is Rumil, or will assume that she means in the brotherly sense of ‘I need a guy with me – and I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.’ In the first instance he will gently disillusion her and put her to bed, then stay there, with the bucket at the ready for the inevitable. In the second he will consider carefully – for example asking him to take her to watch an archery contest might be a good thing – or it might mean that Rumil is competing and there is enough money riding on the result that she doesn’t want Legolas in the opposition!

Anya would think that in either case it certainly leaves Legolas available to help her have many orgasms in interesting ways the next night. She knows all about the stamina of elves…


And for [livejournal.com profile] ffutures

Arwen, Spike, and Willow get the job of presenting Top Gear after the mysterious disappearance of the original team. Who does what? Which of the others becomes The Stig?

Arwen will consider the reliability and lifespan of the vehicles, and what they are like for off-roading and climbing steep slopes. She will have her own slot called ‘The Evenstar in the Reasonably Priced Car’.

Spike will test out all the tinted windows, and how good the cars are for driving at night, especially without lights, and will interview all the female guests who do laps in the reasonably priced car.

Willow is only interested in the green credentials of the cars. Or so she says – in fact she and Spike argue regularly about who is going to interview those female stars…

Elladan&Elrohir will become the Stig – then no-one will, genuinely, ever know who is driving the car!


Alexia, Giles, Thorin, Legolas and Dawn are captured by aliens who insist that they demonstrate human breeding techniques. They've grasped the idea that it takes two to reproduce, but not the idea of gender. Which two pairs volunteer, and who is left to face alien probing?

Alexia has been subject to ‘scientific examination’ in the past and so, hoping that no-one ever, ever, tells her husband, would put herself forward for the breeding experiment immediately. Her preferred partner would actually be Dawn – Mme Lefoux has made a pass at her more than once and she is certainly interested; and it wouldn’t quite be adultery, would it?

But Dawn would be much more interested in Legolas who is, clearly, so much more her age than either Thorin or Giles (who is like father-figure… boink Giles? Pheeew!). Giles might be more in favour of Alexia’s suggestion that she and Dawn pair up – he would be willing to do – hem – whatever was required with one of the other males to protect Dawn. He is also well enough read to know that dwarves and elves are usually mutually antagonistic, and that neither race are greatly into sex; dwarves are too busy digging and delving and doing things with metal and elves do it only rarely and only within marriage – he’s read Law and Customs of the Eldar. So he is sure one of the other males would volunteer to be – hem – ‘probed’ rather than endure any sort of unsavoury sexual encounter with Giles himself.

However, Legolas has also read LaCE and knows it to be a work of dry humour; it being a spoof work written by Elrond in a moment of boredom – he’s all in favour of Dawn’s suggestion.

Thorin is also not as averse to sex as Giles imagines – but would certainly not get intimate with an elf – or Dawn as she really does seem too young to him – but the nancy-boy elf should be able to do something with her to keep the aliens satisfied. And, although he prefers his partner to be bearded, Alexia seems to be a practically minded woman…

Alexia’s husband might be a good deal taller than Thorin – but Lord Maccon, being a werewolf, is solidly built and blessed with thick dark hair so they have certain similarities. She will certainly pair up with him if Dawn is helping Legolas (so like dear Biffy – you really wouldn’t want anyone to harm him…).

Giles is abandoned to his fate…

Lessa, Éomer and Galadriel are in a lifeboat with a large tiger. The tiger is getting hungry, who is thrown to it and why?

Éomer. He will keep it fuller longer the ladies agree.

One of Eowyn, Lord Akeldama, Elladan&Elrohir or Anya is to be shot at dawn; everyone else must vote to see who it is. Who would be selected? Who would try to rig the draw? And who would volunteer to pull the trigger?

Lord Akeldama, I fear – he would die at dawn anyway if he was forced to stay outdoors. The twins would rig the draw if needs be – and this leaves them with two blonde females – what could be better? Anya would volunteer to pull the trigger – she would look on it as saving him from burning up – and she is the only one, apart from his Lordship, who has ever had lessons in gun use.


Which Game of Thrones house does each character belong to?

I really don’t know anything about GoT – my daughter will disown me as she has read all the books. However, from what I can glean, Lessa would follow House Targaryen, because of the dragon. And, from what little I have just googled (A rebellion eliminated most of the royal family), Galadriel would be a natural in there too.

Thorin would belong to whichever House hates Targaryen, with its dragon, most. Although he wouldn’t say ‘no’ to an iron throne and ‘ours is the fury’ sounds like a good dwarvish motto – so House Baratheon for him, I think.

Arwen, Elladan and Elrohir might align themselves with the house of The Kings of the North - so House Stark.

I’m really not sure about the others – Anya would see so many women she might do business with, in her former role, in any case!



I had so much fun doing these - thank you all for the questions. Actually it was so much fun I might do it again sometime.

OK - S2C pointed out to me about 8.30pm that the cut isn't opening - this is one of those LJ vagaries I fear as the coding is right. However it seems to be opening OK now, at 11.45pm. I've seen this on other journals a couple of times, too. However, if it isn't working for you, click on the title of the post to see it.
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