Researching for Burns Night, or What Sex is a Computer?

[curiouswombat]

I am doing a speech at the Burns Night Supper this year. I shall be replying to the 'Toast to the lassies'. I've been doing a bit of a read through some of the relevant poetry to get me started, and even looked at a few other people's speeches on line, and some suggestions for humerous bits to use.

During this research I came across the following -

There has been some debate recently as to what gender a computer is, after all if ships are `she' or `her' what sex is the humble computer.
Masculine say women
• In order to get their attention you have to turn them on.
• They have a lot of data but remain clueless.
• They are supposed to help you to solve problems but half the time they are the problem.
• As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.

Feminine say the men
• No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
• The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
• Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for latter retrieval.
• As soon as you make a commitment to one you find yourself spending half your cheque on accessories for it.

OK - not got much to do with Burns - but it made me giggle.

Comments

[slaymesoftly.livejournal.com]

Hee! I got a good chuckle out of that. :)

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking 'male' looks likely...

[slaymesoftly.livejournal.com]

*nods* Without a doubt. But we can let them have their little fantasy that we could be wrong...

[spikesdeb.livejournal.com]

*giggles* That's really tickled me :) And I'm still not sure which is right!

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

I'm going with male, I think...

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

My daughter always gives them male names - as she does her memory sticks etc. so that she gets messages like 'Cuthbert wants to communicate with Ulysses' (Ulysses was named when she was doing Classical Civilisation at school!)

Her boyfriend's computer is called Colin, so he must agree too!

As mine has HP written on it I think I should start calling it Harry Potter.

[raingirl26.livejournal.com]

this really tickles me. i hope you find a way to work it into your speach. i always think of Jean Redpath when i think of Burns (Robert, i assume). what a wonderful way to experience his works.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

Yes - celebrating the birth of Robet Burns is a traditional thing - here are a couple of entries (http://curiouswombat.livejournal.com/tag/burns+night) explaining how I am involved, and what our, very traditional, Burns Night Supper is like.

It is the 250th anniversary of his borth on Jan 25th.

[bojojoti.livejournal.com]

Amusing, but I'm thinking my computer is a conglomerate of both sides.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

It's ambisextrous!

[mylescorcoran]

Ha! My (all-boy) office enjoyed that one, in both aspects.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

It's good, isn't it? Both sides are pretty accurate. Maybe if naming a computer a unisex name would be best!

[vegmb.livejournal.com]

A very wise woman (former secretary/office manager) once told me that all office equipment are male because you have to play with them every now and then to make them work right...She did this as she was naming our new copy machine Bill.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

Yep - seems fair enough to me!

[cbtreks.livejournal.com]

I've always thought of them as male myself, though I did name my little mp3 player Polyhymnia.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

What an excellent name.