It is a rather child-like but of knitting - it amused me that I could knit a cushion cover with 32 stitches on the needles! And, as K said, why anyone would have needed a pattern to cast on 9 stitches, and knit to the end of the wool, was beyond her.

As for Dave - oh gosh, I can imagine - I think you'd better ban him from reading, or watching, the news for the sake of his blood pressure.